We write books and songs about it, participate in game shows to find it, use apps to hopefully one day be caught in its net. In this large and diverse world, we are all united by one thing – love.
Falling in love and finding ‘the one’ is the goal of most people, and it is always wonderful when we get the chance to experience it. When we fall in love, we tend to be more intentional about going out on dates, sharing adventures, or having intimate conversations to learn more about each other. Although it takes effort and a bit of luck, falling in love is much easier than ‘standing in love,’ which requires intention in creating moments of intimacy and emotional connection with a partner.
It’s easy to let work, obligations, cell phones, TV, and other stuff drain your time and energy while at home with your partner. These things can use your full attention, taking you away from one of the most important people in your life. But if you do nothing to actively engage in and improve your romantic relationship, it will suffer and get worse with time. Relationships require diligent work and regular maintenance, after all, even when you first start dating, things don’t just happen. Your active efforts make them happen.
What Are Love Rituals for Couples?
Relationships are living, breathing things that need to be nurtured daily, particularly through love rituals. Love rituals are behaviors and actions that couples participate in regularly to communicate their thoughts and feelings, both verbally and non-verbally. Practicing these behaviors is a way of showing to your partner that you support them in a way that no one else can. Long-lasting, healthy relationships are those in which people choose to be with their partners, again and again, every day, and relationship rituals serve as a reminder of that.
In happy times and especially in times of difficulty, it is important that you maintain your love rituals whenever possible to keep both of you grounded, supported, and connected. This way, you and your partner can form a powerful cocoon, providing love, support, and the space to share and express intimacy to each other. To be a love ritual, activity or behavior needs to be intentional and repeated. It needs to have meaning and emotional significance for both of you, otherwise, it’s just a routine, like washing dishes or taking out the trash. Love rituals can remind you who you want to be with each other, help you connect emotionally, give you feelings of comfort and stability, and reinforce your feelings of love.
Intentional Rituals You Can Start Today
There are many ways to create everyday love rituals in your relationship, from those reserved for special occasions to daily affairs that strengthen your commitment. They can be simple as sharing meals, working out together, going on weekly dates, or practicing mindfulness. Let me share a couple of my top love rituals:
1. Celebrate Important Dates
This is a no-brainer since it’s fundamental to all relationships. As a couple, it’s vital to recognize and celebrate the special moments, especially if you’re looking to create more romance in your relationship. Dates like birthdays and anniversaries come around once a year, and celebrating them is a great pleasure. Maybe your ritual is to surprise each other with gifts in the morning or leave love notes around the house. Such things turn into anticipated and fun occasions that only grow your love stronger.
2. Celebrate Accomplishments
This can be a dinner at a favorite restaurant, going somewhere for the weekend, or just spending the day indoors with Netflix and snacks. Whatever it is, creating a love ritual to mark your successes will bond you even closer together.
3. Morning Tea
Love rituals aren’t just about special dates and occasions. They can be little things you do with your partner every day, which can turn out to be the most important thing you do to keep your love alive and thriving. This can be as simple as sharing a cup of tea (or coffee!) and talking about what you’ll do that day. This love ritual can last for just 15 minutes, but it can deepen your relationship and set the tone for a positive day.
4. Nighttime Love Ritual
This can be anything from spending 10-15 minutes discussing the highs and lows of your day, sharing what you’re grateful for, to practicing mindfulness together. Meditating together is a spiritual type of closeness you can build to achieve an even stronger kind of unity. You can also do less talking and more doing, such as back rubs or foot massages.
This is also a perfect opportunity to do some scheduled lovemaking. Scheduling sex is a great way for you and your partner to keep intimacy, desire, and satisfaction alive. Scheduled sexual activity also builds up anticipation and adds to the enjoyment because you can put more thought into creating a safe, comfortable, and sexy scene for the two of you to enjoy each other’s bodies.
5. A Weekly Relationship Check-In
How do you prioritize and focus on your relationship with your partner? Do you take time out of your tight schedule to do this properly? My suggestion is to have a weekly relationship check-in where the two of you can talk about the things that went right or wrong in your relationship, show appreciation for each other, discuss any problems that may have occurred, and most importantly, ask each other “What can I do next week to make you feel appreciated and loved?” This can help you set mutual goals and ensure you are on the same page with each other. But don’t mix this with a weekly date which is another ritual you can do to strengthen your relationship. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, as long as you’re together and doing something you love.
Intimacy is More Than Just Sex
Although important, sex is not everything in a relationship. Learning to mesh your personalities into a healthy union and finding your daily rhythm is more important than some (hopefully good) action in bed. Real happiness is rarely based on an orgasm – that doesn’t last long. Instead, it comes from such things as how you look at each other, how you talk to each other, how you listen and respect each other.
Discovering what love rituals work for you will strengthen and illuminate the bond you share with your partner. These five rituals are just a few of the many you can create to establish a long-lasting healthy relationship with one another. Talk with your partner and see if you can try a new love ritual. Whatever you choose, I’m sure you’ll reap the rewards in your union.