What do you think when you hear the term female ‘sex drive’? Can you define or describe it? Let me help you with a quick definition: sex drive is a term that refers to the interest or enthusiasm in sexual activity, either with your partner or by yourself. The presence of a sexual drive, or lack thereof, can indicate the state of your physical, mental, and sexual health.
Now, I must ask an even more important question: what do you know about female sexuality? Chances are – not much. Why is that? Probably because, through history, we have been taught very little about women’s libido, and most of it would turn out to be untrue. One of the biggest lies we have told women over the centuries was that men have a stronger libido than women and that it’s different from theirs. In reality, women are every bit as sexually arousable as their male counterparts.
But, what controls sexual desire in women? Why does arousal ebb and flow? Why does it sometimes feel like almost anything can excite you, and other times like there is not a single spark left? Is this normal sexual behavior?
What Drives Your Sex Drive?
First and most important of all – yes, it is normal. Whatever you feel or don’t feel is perfectly normal in any given situation. Sex drive is a subjective thing, and it varies from one person to the next. We all measure our level of sexual drive based on what we consider to be our normal, so craving sexual pleasure daily, weekly, or once a year depends solely on the individual.
Nevertheless, everybody more than once experiences low sexual drive. This is not necessarily a problem, as long as you are okay with the (in)regularity of your romantic affairs. But it can be frustrating, especially when you miss the intimacy that goes along with sex. And if you have difficulty in waking your libido from slumber, or you and your partner have mismatched libidos, that can cause disharmony in your life.
A lot of factors, both biological and psychological, influence whether your sex drive is up in the air or down the drain. Stress is probably the biggest sex drive killer, followed by anxiety and depression. Frustratingly enough, a lot of drugs that treat these conditions, as well as other meds, can have the side effect of lowering the sexual drive.
Our feelings also play a big part in this equation. How we feel about ourselves and our partner fundamentally affects our sexual desire. Healthy habits, like eating a well-balanced diet, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep, also influence our mood (as well as our overall health).
Hormones are another big player on the libido field. Our hormone levels such as testosterone (yes, women produce it too, just in small amounts), estrogen, and progesterone all naturally start to go down as we grow older, and that plays a substantial part in our desire, sexual arousal, and orgasm.
The bottom line is that female libido is a complex thing, and the ability to experience complete sexual pleasure depends on an elaborate mix of our identities, desires, feelings, and actions. But, this doesn’t mean there’s nothing we can do to wake up our sleeping libidos.
Improving Your Libido the Natural Way
As herbalists love to say, true healing begins and ends with the individual. So, to achieve real wellness, your personal health care plan needs to start with practicing regular self-care. Your body can only stay healthy if you reach homeostasis – a state where your body, mind, and spirit are in perfect balance. With its potent and sacred power, Damiana (turnera diffusa) is the right herb to activate your libido and create an overall balanced healing protocol.
Also known as Turnera aphrodisiaca, damiana is a plant from Central and South America. It has been used by the native Indian population from this region for centuries as a natural aphrodisiac as well as a cure for other health issues, such as diabetes and insomnia.
The most common reason why damiana leaf is so popular (now and in the past) is for its libido-boosting effect. Damiana leaf is said to relieve anxiety and mild depression, weakness of the body, strained nerves, and an upset stomach. It is famous for its relaxing and mood-boosting properties and for its power to balance out hormone levels.
It is particularly helpful for women, as it positively affects their hormones and emotions, giving them a natural feeling of overall well-being. Throughout history, women have been using it to relieve PMS and menopausal symptoms, control hot flashes, and improve menstrual regularity. With such power to treat practically every symptom of low libido, it’s no wonder this plant is so revered worldwide.
As a herbal aphrodisiac, damiana works by stimulating the circulation to your body’s periphery, especially to your erogenous zones. It effectively reaches these body areas, removing blockages along the way, creating a path to the connection of both your physical and spiritual body, allowing you to experience genuine pleasure. Damiana is also an adaptogenic herbal aphrodisiac, meaning it helps each person’s body uniquely. It teaches you how your sexuality can flow more freely and be more fulfilling. And with regular use over a longer period of time, damiana increases energy and therefore greatly improves sexual performance.
Regain Your Sex Drive
We live in a culture where stress is unavoidable, and we tend to feel guilty for wanting to honor our true desires and bodily needs when we should be caring about our mental and physical health. Self-care is everything but selfish indulgence. In fact, it is a practice that demands dedication and discipline.
Take some time just for you to explore your sexuality. Be intentional about creating a space and setting the mood for some quality you-time. It can be as simple as putting on underwear that makes you feel sexy or spritzing a sensual scent on your pillows. Experiment with food, toys, or guided masturbation. Once you find your groove, keep doing it. Whether it’s daily or monthly, keep up with the ritual as a reminder that your sexual satisfaction is an important part of your life. You deserve your time and attention.
Learning how to limit the intake of everyday stressors, incorporating healing herbs into your daily routines, and committing to re-discovering your emotional and sexual depth are all ways that can help you reawaken your libido and the most powerful version of you. And if you need a guide on this journey, make sure to take damiana and get ready for some new and blissful experiences.